Good and nope, you don't need any more details. Especially if you know in your heart he is sorry and it won't happen again. Any more details you think up or try to learn will be more you will have rolling around in your head. Yeah, there may be more women... but at this point thats irrelevent. If it were only ONE... and he was just speaking to that ONE all the time, your hurt would possibly even be worse... thinking this other one was so special, but nope...s he wasn't.. none of them were, thats why there multiples. None were meeting an 'emotional' affair status I don't think.. it was more of a 'fantasy affair' status.
I do believe he likely thought of it as porn, didn't emotionally connect to it, so didn't see a problem with it. But now that he understands the hurt it caused you, the way you see it and the betrayal you felt from it -- he'd be a fool to repeat it. He can claim, and he could be telling the truth that he didn't think it was as bad as you took it. But now he knows. Now there is no question, you drew the line, you let him know you consider it cheating. He's agreed to never do it again.
Thats not to say you wont be sitting there one day chopping tomatos, and think of something he said or did that you read and get FURIOUS at him for nothing to do with the present, you will have to find a way to work through those emotions on your own as best as you can, and of course, only drag him into them when you need that reassurance, when you need that comfort. Because if you attack him every single time you get a memory of his actions (especially while this is fresh) its going to do more harm than good to your reconciliation.
It sounds like you are going to be able to focus on the future, the here and the now, and that you will be able to rebuild your faith in him... along with working on your bonding with him so that you can get to a place in your relationship where you know you are both physically, sexually, emotionally, mentally satisfying each other.
Most people cheat for the ego boost (whether its fantasy cheating or physical cheating, or emotional affairs), they cheat to feel wanted, to feel important, to feel special, or to fill a sexual need that isn't being met... of course sometimes they cheat out of boredom, to see if they can, because they feel entitled, or because they don't think they are hurting anyone.. but whatever the reasons, as long as you work maintaining a happy, honest place in your relationship, you won't have to fear the unknown.
If he knows he can come to you when he's feeling ignored, if you know you can go to him when you feel he isn't giving you attention... you guys can learn to anticipate each others needs and never need to lean on anything but each other to fill them.
I do believe he likely thought of it as porn, didn't emotionally connect to it, so didn't see a problem with it. But now that he understands the hurt it caused you, the way you see it and the betrayal you felt from it -- he'd be a fool to repeat it. He can claim, and he could be telling the truth that he didn't think it was as bad as you took it. But now he knows. Now there is no question, you drew the line, you let him know you consider it cheating. He's agreed to never do it again.
Thats not to say you wont be sitting there one day chopping tomatos, and think of something he said or did that you read and get FURIOUS at him for nothing to do with the present, you will have to find a way to work through those emotions on your own as best as you can, and of course, only drag him into them when you need that reassurance, when you need that comfort. Because if you attack him every single time you get a memory of his actions (especially while this is fresh) its going to do more harm than good to your reconciliation.
It sounds like you are going to be able to focus on the future, the here and the now, and that you will be able to rebuild your faith in him... along with working on your bonding with him so that you can get to a place in your relationship where you know you are both physically, sexually, emotionally, mentally satisfying each other.
Most people cheat for the ego boost (whether its fantasy cheating or physical cheating, or emotional affairs), they cheat to feel wanted, to feel important, to feel special, or to fill a sexual need that isn't being met... of course sometimes they cheat out of boredom, to see if they can, because they feel entitled, or because they don't think they are hurting anyone.. but whatever the reasons, as long as you work maintaining a happy, honest place in your relationship, you won't have to fear the unknown.
If he knows he can come to you when he's feeling ignored, if you know you can go to him when you feel he isn't giving you attention... you guys can learn to anticipate each others needs and never need to lean on anything but each other to fill them.
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