[cassie66]

sorry i cut my last message short,but hubby walkedinto the room stalk naked! i got mynhope s up for a minute he just said no! and i thought you had left me i thought i heard the front door shut! saidhe only came down so i could scratch his back he had an itch he couldnt reach! grr!i dnt know wheather to laugh or cry

i doubt he was molested he would have said

he is fine with warm water.
he does want to return towork he toldme

ii wont let him get my moneyimtrying to put someemoney aside into my other account but im never alone i shallonce he back at work

he has other phobia s too like he can only use our toilliet he will holdit all day whn at work or out he s had tummy ache cos he refuses to use any other toilet.
he once told me he went to florida for 2 weeks and held on and never use a loo!
he has weird washing and toilet issues
his fear of the dentist is so bad his mum about 2 yrs ago had to hold his hand while he wnet and was sedated
he doesnt get allhis own way.
he wnt see a counselor.

[Steph33]

I don't think (my opinion) you need to be horney to take care of a partner. My BF takes a number of heart meds, some of which effect him getting an erection at times and it bothers him (as it would most men). In his case he knows when/how long they effect him and takes them so he's effected the least during the times we most often have sex.

But even when he is not able to perform "fully," he has NEVER not taken care of me. He gives me oral at the drop of a hat anywhere and anytime I want for as long as it takes to please me. He feels closer doing that than intercourse anyway and to him it's a "mission" to take care of me when I need him. Often he likes to do just that alone when he CAN have intercourse for closeness. And he has magic fingers as well.

It shouldn't always be about both being "in the mood." There should be some giving for no gain as well. Unless one of us is ill, neither of us has ever gone "frustrated" from needing and wanting to get off. And once you get going it becomes a 2 way thing.

A guy (or woman) saying you "only want or are interested" in the sex part is selfish, narrowminded, and being rude. My guy is my best friend, confidant, team mate, and I would never consider him anything less than that first. But part of that is also being able to look into his eyes when he gives me oral when I want him.

[cassie66]

i will not let him dstroy me. he wont get my dads c*****sin my name so he cant. but im worried if wedivorced he could? only if my dad died while still married.he said we are to sell his house and usei t all for a deposit. i wont let him kick out my kids either
i need a plan but with kids doing exams i feel stuck.

i feel like crying inside beacuse i know he will never ever give me oral or use his fingers
he says he has to be in the mood to touch me

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Cassie, that's plain not fair, walking naked in front of you, immediately saying "no" whilst you get to see the whole anatomy?

Anyways, seriously, if a man hadn't washed in a month, i would not be letting those germs enter me.....

I know that he hates vibrators too but you know what? Give a... us women can satisfy ourselves you need to get rid of this sexual frustration. Close the bedroom door put music on, tell him your busy.

Well it sounds to me that he is "Mummy's boy", I stated this in a couple posts above before and you've confirmed it.

He was smothered as a child by a woman, she was a Mother, there was no intimacy and I think therefore, he can't have intimacy any other way than what he knew, a woman cleaning and cooking.

His phobias are serious..... And, not real... He "thinks" he's allergic to hot water, but can bathe in warm water. He won't bathe in warm water and gets you to wash his hair over a sink (Mother).... He won't use a toilet, yet he can squat, stand, what ever and not touch the seat... He sees none of this ie) ways around his phobias, because as I said he can handle warm water. He fears death, phyco film, dear me, hense the shower..

You can't change any of this you know that don't you.

As for can he get your Father's cash? Not if your Divorced and Dad dies later, no.

Your teenagers he can't handle because he is still one... He can't share a house with other kids, he is a loner, you can't go to the shops, because he needs his "Mummy" with him at all times... he has to tag along, it's not bordem.

His Mother would be well aware of all of this and instead she skirts around it, just telling you he's stubborn.... Guess she never got him the help he needed as a child which is a shame.

This is too big for you......

Start living your own live within the household and just say NO just like he does.... When he wants to come with you, say NO.. When he complains you say, "you say NO to me all the time, NO" and walk out and go even if you have to catch a bus.

When you want to look at girly things in shops say "GET" see you back here in 15, I want to look on my own, if he throws a tantrum, say " stop acting like a child, I will see you in 15 minutes" turn your back and walk in the shop.

Once you start to gain a little bit of you back.... you will be able to be stronger and therefore, find solutions to help you move away from it all.

CW

[WildChild]

Good Advise

[cassie66]

hello
thanks cwi know where your coming from

last nighti was sosexually fruustrated, i knoew he wasnt interested so i quietly started to play with myself under the covers, but he shouted i know what your doing, its disgusting stop, its making e feel seasick said i was rocking the bed like a boat and making him sick i wasnt he said it was putting him off and saidif i contnued he d go downstairs. its not fair,that brought a tear to my eye i wanst doing him any harm

he didnt sleep anyway tossing and turning all night and disturbed me.
he had another physio appont this morn

yes cw your right whenever i suggest going somewhre alone or looking in another shop in town etc hhe says i l come with u or hurry up parking tikcet will run out etc

ifi say no orutter i l be ok say for example i can go shop alone he throws atantrum like a child.
im just trying tocopenow and think of a way out that doesnt hurt anyone.
im tired nyself ashe kept waking me up

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Your exhausted sweetness, from no sleep and also feeling down, as he constantly puts you down.

Heed my warning, thoughts, and just do.... you are beautiful remember that...

Do your thing before you both go to sleep, you have a heart and it's clear, so quit crying woman, work on your plans for your new life.

We have come to warm to you so much , and I note you come on everynight, well my night...

You are moving your mind in the right directions and you understand, that what ever he says is not worth it, cause it's not YOU , IT'S HIM... Remember that and lets start working towards a plan ok...

You are important and beautiful...

CW

[cassie66]

thank youim glad i have you totalk to
als he said some odd things yesterdaay likedo you regret marrying me andthe old you are ebtter off without me
he aslo sometimes has said im moving back to mums
she wouldnt have him back she has remarried andmoved house he is mad becuase she was going to give him £20 000 from saleof her house but because of the rcession,she has been unable to sell and he price has dropped in value by 50 thousand

so she had to rent the hosue out and nowhe cant get her money. he blames her and keeps saying if she had listened to me and done ahs she was told she would have sld the house earlier and i would hav my 20k and paid my debts!

he also said to me i need to get a will and wh dont we book a double plot ie grave plot !how weird is that!

[cassie66]

i do not know the time difference but here now its 8 30 am friday morn. i get on when he is not about

heis very funny aroundthe supermarket adding everything up on a calculator saying put that back etc wedont need that kids dnt need that howmuch etc putit down! eve though i pay for the groceries!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

He's controlling sweet, wont let you even be a person, do what you want.... It's always been your money, remember that, not his.....

You have to grow some b a l l s and say, well it's my money hun, so I will buy what I want...

Stand up for yourself Cassie NOW...

It's time

CW