Prostate Massager: What Is It & How Do You Use One?

Prostate massagers are anal sex toys that stimulate the prostate and create more intense orgasms – using one doesn’t have to be difficult or intimidating.
Close Up Aerial Photograph Of Textured Prostate Massager Against White Leather Background
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Prostate massagers, also known as prostate vibrators, are sex toys inserted anally to stimulate the prostate (P-spot) and create more pleasurable and intense orgasms.

While they can be intimidating when you’re new to them, they don’t have to be.

Here’s what you need to know about using prostate massagers:

  • Connected to the penis and testicles, the prostate is a small, walnut-sized organ that can be stimulated through the anus or externally against the perineum; stimulation of the prostate (also known as the P-spot) using a massager can be a source of great pleasure for many people.
  • Prostate massage, sometimes called prostate milking, creates a full-body orgasm for men or anyone with a prostate — one that is different when compared to penile orgasms.
  • Using the right prostate massager correctly can make those orgasms happen faster and feel even better.
  • Prostate massagers come in two main styles: manual or vibrating.
  • Using a prostate massager is simple: Lubricate well, insert it gently, and tap-tap-tap it against your prostate until you’re seeing stars.

If you’re curious to know more, we’ll explain everything you need to know about using a prostate massager.

What Is A Prostate Massager?

A prostate massager is a sex toy that is inserted anally and is designed to stimulate the prostate or P-spot, allowing you to reach it without using your fingers or other body parts.

The prostate is a walnut-sized organ that helps make semen for sperm traveling from the testicles to the penis.

Illustration Depicting Diagram Of Male Reproductive System

Sitting in front of the rectum, internal stimulation of the prostate is achieved through the anus, while external stimulation occurs against the perineum — the area located between the testicles and anus.

Although women can use a prostate massager on themselves — it is an anal-safe toy — they may not experience the same type of stimulation unless they have a prostate.

For those who enjoy it, stimulating the prostate (also known as prostate massage) can lead to powerful and potentially multiple orgasms in men.

Using a prostate massager allows you to focus the stimulation right where you want it and can lead to bigger, better orgasms compared to using your hand alone.

Prostate massagers come in two main styles: manual or vibrating.

Manual prostate massagers do not vibrate and are often designed to hit the prostate internally and externally at the same time. They look like curved, longer versions of butt plugs or mini anal beads with a larger handle.

Once inserted, you use the handle at the base to rock the prostate massager back and forth to tap your P-spot.

Vibrating prostate massagers tend to focus on internal prostate massage entirely.

Like other vibrators, they often feature multiple settings so you can find the right stimulation and intensity for your needs.

The vibrations can feel overwhelming if you’re not used to the sensation, so start on lower settings and only increase the intensity when you’re ready.

Prostate massagers range in style from very small — which are perfect for beginners — to much larger options, ideal for people with experience.

If you prefer a vibrating prostate massager, look for styles that include a remote control to make changing settings as easy as possible.

How To Use A Prostate Massager

To use a prostate massager, all you need to do is pick the one you like, lube it up well, and insert it carefully.

But that’s really just the bare minimum when it comes to using a prostate vibrator:

  • You can try prostate massage alone, while you masturbate
  • It can be part of your sex life with a partner
  • You can let your partner control your prostate massage as a way to explore pleasure or as part of a kinky game of control and power
  • You may even want to consider using a prostate massager to help keep your prostate healthy

Once you’ve inserted a prostate massager, give yourself time to find the right spot and rhythm, and go as slow or fast as feels good to you.

How To Insert A Prostate Massager

The most important thing to remember about prostate massage — with or without a prostate massager — is that this is a form of anal play.

To have a good experience you need to follow the basic principles of anal stimulation:

  1. First-timers and newbies need to start small — with your finger or a very small prostate massager.
  2. Anal lube is a must (more on that below).
  3. It doesn’t have to hurt as long as you take your time, listen to your body, and use enough lube.

How To Find The P-Spot

Ideally, you’ll want to find your P-spot before you use a prostate massager so you know exactly where your toy needs to go.

  • To find your prostate, lube up and insert one or two fingers into your anus, based on your comfort level.
  • Using an upward motion, feel around for an area that feels completely different than the rest of your anus. On average, the prostate is about two inches wide so it may be easy to find.
  • For some, you’ll know the moment you find it because even a little stimulation is immediately pleasurable.

The prostate often increases in size once your body is aroused so it may be even easier to find if you masturbate or engage in foreplay first.

If you’ve skipped the finger test (or just don’t want to do it), you can use your prostate massager but you won’t feel the difference with your hand.

You’ll need to wait until your toy hits the magic spot and you feel aroused or stimulated.

To insert your prostate massager:

  • Masturbate or engage in foreplay so you become aroused. An aroused body is a relaxed body. And a relaxed body often handles anal penetration better.
  • Add plenty of compatible anal lube to the tip of your prostate massager and down the base. Use your finger to lube your anus, too. If your prostate massager is made from silicone, only use water-based lubricant, as silicone lube will degrade its material. Likewise, do not use oil-based lubricant with massagers made from latex or rubber for the same reason.
  • If your prostate massager is a vibrator, turn it on first unless it comes with a remote. Once it’s inserted, you might it difficult to adjust the settings if they are not accessed through a remote control or phone app.
  • Slowly press the tip of your prostate massager against your anus. Don’t force anything.
  • If you find penetration difficult, masturbate or have your partner touch your other erogenous zones (such as your penis, testicles, neck, or nipples) to help your body relax again.
  • Only push the prostate massager in as far as you’re comfortable. If you feel pain, stop and pull it out until it no longer hurts. It may take a few tries before you’re able to achieve full penetration — this is normal and okay.
  • Add more anal lube if penetration isn’t too difficult but you still feel discomfort or pain.

Once your prostate massager is in, you can leave it pressed against your prostate — a great option for vibrating toys used anally.

If it’s manual, you can move it back and forth so the tip of your prostate massager taps against your P-spot.

How To Use A Prostate Massager For Masturbation

Using a prostate massager during masturbation is extremely common.

It can add extra sensation while you focus on your penis and also sometimes lead to multiple orgasms in men.

Making prostate massage a part of your masturbation time allows you to explore the sensations and (possible) orgasms at your own pace without the pressure of performance.

You can try different types of prostate massagers or different settings on your vibrating massager.

You also have the option to use one toy, like a pocket pussy, on your penis and a prostate massager at the same time.

If you do, you might explode with pleasure as the orgasm will likely be intense.

​​How Can Couples Use Prostate Massagers?

A prostate massager can definitely be invited into your bedroom as a couple but how you play with it depends on what intrigues you and turns you on.

Give yourselves plenty of pleasure with less effort by masturbating together — also known as mutual masturbation.

Each partner picks their favorite toy, and you get yourself off…together.

By doing this, both of you get all the sexual pleasure and release you need but on your own terms.

If you’re intrigued by the idea of kinky fun with dominance and submission or orgasm control (or both!), let your partner control your prostate massager.

Maybe they turn the settings up or down. Maybe they tease you until you’re begging for more.

And of course, you can use your prostate massager during sex with your partner…

How Can You Use A Prostate Massager During Sex?

How and when to use a prostate massager during sex depends on the type of sex you’re having.

If you’re pegging your partner, there won’t be room for a dildo and a prostate massager.

But it could be used early on during sex play to increase his arousal. This is also true if the penetrating partner has a penis, too.

In this situation, start with your prostate massager as the warm-up or try for multiple orgasms. When you’re both ready, remove the toy and insert the penis or dildo for the big finish.

You may not be able to keep a prostate massager in your butt and have sex in missionary or some other sex positions unless you’ve got plenty of control over your sphincter.

(Yes, sometimes in the heat of the moment, a toy can pop out back there.)

But that doesn’t mean you can’t use a prostate massager during penetrative sex.

You may need to switch positions: try spooning, cowgirl, or a seated position with your partner riding you.

Keep in mind that your position needs to be comfortable for both partners, but especially for whoever has a prostate massager up their butt.

Sitting down can be unpleasant while you use an anal toy.

  • Do You Need Lube With A Prostate Massager?

Yes — lube is non-negotiable.

We’ve mentioned it already but let’s make it crystal clear: Lube is absolutely required when you use a prostate massager.

Your anus does not self-lubricate.

It’s an exit that you’re turning into an entrance.

The only way to reduce friction and keep things as pain-free as possible is to add lube — and lots of it.

Water-based lube is compatible with toys made from any material, but many of them have a lightweight texture that may not offer the most comfort.

Always consult your prostate massager’s manual if you intend to use silicone or oil-based lubricants to make sure they are compatible with your toy’s material.

Are Prostate Massagers Safe?

When used carefully and according to the instructions, yes — prostate massagers are safe.

There are two parts to think about in terms of prostate massager safety: the material of the toy and the design.

Most of the prostate massagers on the market today are quite safe because they’re often made of high-quality silicone, ABS plastic, or glass — which are among the safest sex toy materials.

If you’re shopping for a prostate sex toy, avoid those made from rubber, jelly rubber, (TPE/TPR) blends, and other unsafe sex toy materials that might potentially be harmful to your health.

In terms of the design of your prostate massager, it should have a narrow tip to make penetration easier.

It also needs to have a wide base or handle so it doesn’t get pulled into your anus.

In Conclusion

Using a prostate massager doesn’t have to be difficult or intimidating.

It does require getting used to inserting something anally and taking the time to get your body ready for this type of penetration so that it doesn’t hurt or cause accidental injury.

Whether you’re a complete beginner or an anal-loving kind of guy, there’s a prostate massager out there for you.

Editor’s Note: This article is part of our How To Use A Vibrator and Everything Vibrators hubs, in-depth and evolving resources that comprehensively explore all aspects of vibrators from the different types and how to use them, to materials and safety — created to help you achieve the sexual pleasure you deserve.