Prostate Massager: What Is It & How Do You Use One?

How To Find The P-Spot

Ideally, you’ll want to find your P-spot before you use a prostate massager so you know exactly where your toy needs to go.

• To find your prostate, lube up and insert one or two fingers into your anus, based on your comfort level.
• Using an upward motion, feel around for an area that feels completely different than the rest of your anus. On average, the prostate is about two inches wide so it may be easy to find.
• For some, you’ll know the moment you find it because even a little stimulation is immediately pleasurable.

The prostate often increases in size once your body is aroused so it may be even easier to find if you masturbate or engage in foreplay first.

If you’ve skipped the finger test (or just don’t want to do it), you can use your prostate massager but you won’t feel the difference with your hand.

You’ll need to wait until your toy hits the magic spot and you feel aroused or stimulated.

To insert your prostate massager:

• Masturbate or engage in foreplay so you become aroused. An aroused body is a relaxed body. And a relaxed body often handles anal penetration better.
• Add plenty of compatible anal lube to the tip of your prostate massager and down the base. Use your finger to lube your anus, too. If your prostate massager is made from silicone, only use water-based lubricant, as silicone lube will degrade its material. Likewise, do not use oil-based lubricant with massagers made from latex or rubber for the same reason.
• If your prostate massager is a vibrator, turn it on first unless it comes with a remote. Once it’s inserted, you might it difficult to adjust the settings if they are not accessed through a remote control or phone app.
• Slowly press the tip of your prostate massager against your anus. Don’t force anything.
• If you find penetration difficult, masturbate or have your partner touch your other erogenous zones (such as your penis, testicles, neck, or nipples) to help your body relax again.
• Only push the prostate massager in as far as you’re comfortable. If you feel pain, stop and pull it out until it no longer hurts. It may take a few tries before you’re able to achieve full penetration — this is normal and okay.
• Add more anal lube if penetration isn’t too difficult but you still feel discomfort or pain.

Once your prostate massager is in, you can leave it pressed against your prostate — a great option for vibrating toys used anally.

If it’s manual, you can move it back and forth so the tip of your prostate massager taps against your P-spot.

How To Use A Prostate Massager For Masturbation

Using a prostate massager during masturbation is extremely common.

It can add extra sensation while you focus on your penis and also sometimes lead to multiple orgasms in men.

Making prostate massage a part of your masturbation time allows you to explore the sensations and (possible) orgasms at your own pace without the pressure of performance.

You can try different types of prostate massagers or different settings on your vibrating massager.

You also have the option to use one toy, like a pocket pussy, on your penis and a prostate massager at the same time.

If you do, you might explode with pleasure as the orgasm will likely be intense.

​​How Can Couples Use Prostate Massagers?

A prostate massager can definitely be invited into your bedroom as a couple but how you play with it depends on what intrigues you and turns you on.

Give yourselves plenty of pleasure with less effort by masturbating together — also known as mutual masturbation.

Each partner picks their favorite toy, and you get yourself off…together.

By doing this, both of you get all the sexual pleasure and release you need but on your own terms.

If you’re intrigued by the idea of kinky fun with dominance and submission or orgasm control (or both!), let your partner control your prostate massager.

Maybe they turn the settings up or down. Maybe they tease you until you’re begging for more.

And of course, you can use your prostate massager during sex with your partner…

How Can You Use A Prostate Massager During Sex?

How and when to use a prostate massager during sex depends on the type of sex you’re having.

If you’re pegging your partner, there won’t be room for a dildo and a prostate massager.

But it could be used early on during sex play to increase his arousal. This is also true if the penetrating partner has a penis, too.

In this situation, start with your prostate massager as the warm-up or try for multiple orgasms. When you’re both ready, remove the toy and insert the penis or dildo for the big finish.

You may not be able to keep a prostate massager in your butt and have sex in missionary or some other sex positions unless you’ve got plenty of control over your sphincter.

(Yes, sometimes in the heat of the moment, a toy can pop out back there.)

But that doesn’t mean you can’t use a prostate massager during penetrative sex.

You may need to switch positions: try spooning, cowgirl, or a seated position with your partner riding you.

Keep in mind that your position needs to be comfortable for both partners, but especially for whoever has a prostate massager up their butt.

Sitting down can be unpleasant while you use an anal toy.

• Do You Need Lube With A Prostate Massager?

Yes — lube is non-negotiable.

We’ve mentioned it already but let’s make it crystal clear: Lube is absolutely required when you use a prostate massager.

Your anus does not self-lubricate.

It’s an exit that you’re turning into an entrance.

The only way to reduce friction and keep things as pain-free as possible is to add lube — and lots of it.

Water-based lube is compatible with toys made from any material, but many of them have a lightweight texture that may not offer the most comfort.

Always consult your prostate massager’s manual if you intend to use silicone or oil-based lubricants to make sure they are compatible with your toy’s material.