[CHANDLERS WISH]

Do you think that he is subconsciously, wanting you to get work?

I know the problem there, we've discussed it, but do you think that if you were to find a job, he would ditch his? And, claim poor health?

Curious sweet, at what you think in that regard.

You still have to at least find something part time, state your wage a bit less than it is, now that he is at work, go and open that private bank account, and put a little into that each week as well, for future..

CW

[cassie66]

no im not sure but he couldnt quit his job as even if i got a small part time job that wouldnt be enough money to survive on if he quits

he was ok at work last night said he felt better
i will try save when i can but have to pay some bils first so will be 3 weeks before i can put any more money to one side

[Guest]

Wow 312 posts and I read them all!

So here's my first post on this forum,hi all!

I was in a car wreck at 16 and the left half of my brain stem destroyed.As a result I have cronic pain,like fire racing over my skin and deep bone aches.As a result there are times when physical contact of any kind is to much to handle.But guess what? I do it anyway because I want to be with my wife!There are times when the fire on my skin kills any hope of a woody,my hands and mouth work just fine and my wife loves any attention I can give her.God bless her for being so patient with me.I still feel like I've failed her when I can't get it up.Even when my body won't cooperate my brain is still thinking about sex and so I do what I can to let her know she is wanted and desired.Even if all I can tollerate is to cuddle with her in bed,I make sure she knows I want/need physical contact with her even if it hurts me!

You can be avictim or a survivor,your mate sounds like a victim that does not have the spine to stand on his own.And he's just using you for his pitty party.

cassie66 you need a man not a boy.

Ok I'm getting off the soap box don't kill me! I'll duck now!LOL

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Cassie, I want to ask a few serious questions cause you know, we kind of read what one person says and go off that.

Well, do you think he lied to you before you got married about sex, cause he wanted a wife?

Has he "ever", made you feel special or loved without sex?

Has he ever cooked for you even at the beginning of your relationship for instance, or rubbed your back, anything that showed love?

Since you've been married, how long was it before he hurt his back?

Sorry for the questions and really think about them before you answer okay....

CW

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Wow 312 posts and I read them all!

So here's my first post on this forum,hi all!

I was in a car wreck at 16 and the left half of my brain stem destroyed.As a result I have cronic pain,like fire racing over my skin and deep bone aches.As a result there are times when physical contact of any kind is to much to handle.But guess what? I do it anyway because I want to be with my wife!There are times when the fire on my skin kills any hope of a woody,my hands and mouth work just fine and my wife loves any attention I can give her.God bless her for being so patient with me.I still feel like I've failed her when I can't get it up.Even when my body won't cooperate my brain is still thinking about sex and so I do what I can to let her know she is wanted and desired.Even if all I can tollerate is to cuddle with her in bed,I make sure she knows I want/need physical contact with her even if it hurts me!

You can be avictim or a survivor,your mate sounds like a victim that does not have the spine to stand on his own.And he's just using you for his pitty party.

cassie66 you need a man not a boy.

Ok I'm getting off the soap box don't kill me! I'll duck now!LOL

Ed, no one will kill you, in-fact that was SO inspiring and you are a legend in my books.

And, I also think you just hit a nail on the head " man not a boy", just wondering if this "boy" can't handle the word "marriage" which equals - commitment, and whether this "boy" is still living with his "Mother" image, and knows no better, or whether Cassie is way to sexual for him to handle , lol CASSIE... there is more to my questions but this Mr Ed kind of gob smacked me in a "good way"...

Good post.... even for your first one.

CW

[Guest]

Ed, no one will kill you, in-fact that was SO inspiring and you are a legend in my books.

And, I also think you just hit a nail on the head " man not a boy", just wondering if this "boy" can't handle the word "marriage" which equals - commitment, and whether this "boy" is still living with his "Mother" image, and knows no better, or whether Cassie is way to sexual for him to handle , lol CASSIE... there is more to my questions but this Mr Ed kind of gob smacked me in a "good way"...

Good post.... even for your first one.

CW

Well thanks,but I'm no legend,just a man trying to live up to the word and vows I gave to my wife in front of God and family.And what's gob smacked I'm thinking of some realy dirty things just now!LOL

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Good for you... mmm, Australian, "gob smacked" is that only Australian? Surely not? Um, threw me? Was a good comment?

Or just nice to know that even with an injury, your partner is important to you... that's worth ( australian) bottling.

CW

[cassie66]

ed69
you are amazing how do you cope?
cw to asnwer your questions
lied about sex? maybe wanted a wife says not but admitted to lonliness
has he ever made me feel special im not sure cant remember he took me to the coast one day but i paid does that count?
cooked for me? no never rubbed my back? no ime the ones that rubs his all the time
we married last aug and the back trouble started late nov so 3 months that was down to the hospital though who did a lp because of his reoccurring headaches, which in fact turned out to be rotten teeth
he has had a lot of time off work before and after we married

i had his mum aroiund last night worrying about him as ausual sayting is he eating right not getting enough vitamins ect saying she thinks he should retire or become self emplyed she didnt stop long was just finsihing work she s taxi driver and her car needed fixing so she parked it on our drive while simon mechanic fixed it

[cassie66]

at times he does seem very childish and does act like a boy ive called him aboy in the past and he didnt like it had a sulk
well he came in late last night in a silly mood, he got in bed and started pulling covers off me and tickling me no sex though he gave up and fell asleep

[CHANDLERS WISH]

k, so then he lied.

k, so then his Mother is too nurtouring and probably caused most of this.

k, I guess I wanted to establish that it wasn't your "sex drive" that effected all of this, rather, he was that person from the inset and you are doing the right thing, he is not for you.

Sorry for the questions but it seems that his Mother has a lot to answer for, she treats him as a child, is he taking his vitamins"? is soooo basic and treating him like a child, the guy never had a chance to be a man, so I am thinking he is in-deed a "boy" caught in a man's body and can't relate, be, or love, sexually only as a son to a Mother and that's all he wants from you..

Lonliness is no excuse for lying to you to catch you huh?

Keep going towards your plans, bad luck for you that you ended with someone whom lied, and has so many phobias and non understanding what man hood is, or a woman, whom she is.

Sorry it happened this way, but better that you work this out now than at 45, hey