How To Use A Fleshlight & Expert Tips For The Best Results

Using a Fleshlight is easy but there are important things to know before, during, and after for the best experience possible.
photograph of product tester justin holding two fleshlights, one in each hand, while looking at the viewer
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Updated:December 2023

While you might be excited to jump head-first into your Fleshlight — literally and figuratively — there are some important things to know beforehand: how to prepare it, which lube to use, ways to position it, and how to clean it.

Watch our video below to learn more:

Key Takeaways:

  • A Fleshlight is a male masturbator that resembles a large flashlight but contains a soft sleeve crafted from skin-like material that looks like a vulva, anus, or mouth on the outside, with an inner shaft meant to accommodate your penis.
  • It’s important to prepare your Fleshlight before use — especially if it’s brand new and out of the box — and the first step begins with removing the hard plastic packing stick that’s hiding inside the sleeve.
  • You’ll want to apply lube before inserting your penis into a Fleshlight, and there are many ways to use it during masturbation or with a partner.
  • After using your Fleshlight, it’s important to clean it thoroughly each time, and that includes rinsing, drying, and applying cornstarch or Fleshlight Renewal Powder to keep it fresh.
  • When maintained well and used properly, Fleshlights are safe and can last a long time.

You might be thinking that you don’t need any special instruction to enjoy your Fleshlight.

I mean the math is simple here: hole + penis + lube = what’s to know?

The reality is that to get the most out of your Fleshlight and keep it in tip-top condition for years to cum, there is going to be a little more work involved compared to just rubbing one out.

Our guidance, tips, and tricks will ensure that you’ll enjoy your Fleshlight to the fullest — and trust us, they’re worth it.

What Is A Fleshlight?

photograph of the riley reid utopia texture fleshlight box on a white table beside the uncapped pocket pussy with the vulva side facing the viewer

Fleshlights are among the most popular type of sex toys for people with penises.

They are tubular male strokers made from a proprietary material that Fleshlight calls Super Skin, and feature an outer orifice that looks like a vulva, anus, mouth, and sometimes nothing in particular.

The outer casing of a Fleshlight is crafted from hard ABS plastic and when the cap is attached to the end, the entire device resembles an industrial flashlight.

Fleshlights come in a variety of styles and internal textures.

Some are based on porn stars — both those who identify as men and women — while others look like standard genitalia or a simple hole.

The bottom end of the Fleshlight casing has a screw cap that you can tighten to your preferred level, creating suction.

The goal of a Fleshlight is to create a physical sensation around your penis that is as close to real sexual contact as (in)humanly possible.

How To Use A Fleshlight

You might be tempted to just grab your Fleshlight and go to town, especially if it’s your first time, but there are some important things to understand before, during, and after you do.

These aren’t as wham-bam-thank-you-man as jerking off with your hand, but Fleshlights are worth the extra time and effort.

We’ll share the basic steps on how to use your Fleshlight along with some ways to amp up the experience alone or with a partner.

What To Do BEFORE Using Your Fleshlight

Let’s say that your Fleshlight just came in the mail, and you just can’t wait to cum in it.

Slow down and take a few seconds first. 

After unboxing your Fleshlight, remove the cap and insert your fingers into the orifice to locate the hard plastic tube inside.

photograph of product tester justin removing the shipping stick from the sleeve of a fleshlight

Trust me, this bit is super important to avoid slamming your erect penis into oblivion.

Unscrewing the bottom air valve will make it easier to remove the tube, but the sleeve may still pop out of the casing.

No worries, after you’ve removed the plastic stick, just slip the sleeve back into place.

Inside your Fleshlight box, there should be a sample packet of Fleshlube — a water-based lubricant that is also important.

Sex toys made from different materials require different lubes.

For example, you don’t want to use an oil-based lube with latex toys or a silicone lube with silicone toys, as it can degrade the material and make it impossible to clean thoroughly.

Since no one, besides the Fleshlight company, is 100% sure what Super Skin is really made out of aside from mineral oil-based material, you should stick to a non-reactive water-based lubricant.

Lube up the inside of your Fleshlight by dripping the desired amount into the opening.

photograph of product tester justin pouring fleshlube into his fleshlight

For better results, stand the Fleshlight up on its bottom end and let the lube drip down through the sleeve.

For best results, lube your penis up as well.

You can do a little extra to really get the party started, such as warming up the sleeve itself.

This can be done with warm water or a heated blanket, but Fleshlight has a tool specifically for this.

The Fleshlight Sleeve Warmer is an electrical device that you insert into the sleeve itself and let it warm to human body temperature.

You can also amp up the experience by placing the Fleshlight into a snug place so you can go to pound town without the use of your hands.

This can be accomplished with some pillows or couch cushions.

Those add the benefit of being able to grab a hold of the pillows like you would your lover’s hips.

Fleshlight also offers ways to go hands-off with their shower mount or duo of Liberator Fleshlight pillows.

Liberators are a kind of functional furniture that has a hole to place your Fleshlight in for full-on humping.

Once you’ve made yourself and your chosen Fleshlight ready, it’s time to rock.

How To Use A Fleshlight For Masturbation

Now that you are slick and feeling sexy, it is time for the big event!

The screw cap air valve on the bottom of the device should be loosened to make entering yourself a bit easier.

Once you’ve made it in, you can screw the cap to your preferred level of suction.

photograph of product tester justin unscrewing the air valve on the bottom of a black fleshlight

If you’re using the Fleshlight more like a stroker, i.e. laying on your back, then the outer ridges on the Fleshlight’s casing will really help you keep a handle on things.

You can move the Fleshlight by hand at your own pace, adjusting the strokes (or suction) however you like it.

If you’ve bolstered the Fleshlight, either with cushions or a Fleshlight accessory, and are humping away…keep up the good work!

After you have orgasmed into the Fleshlight and had a moment to bask in the euphoria or a snack, you’ll need to clean out the sleeve.

Yes, it’s time to address the kaiju tentacle in the room.

Using a Kung-Fu Claw grip around the outside of the orifice, gently remove the sleeve from the plastic case.

photograph of product tester justin pulling the sleeve from a fleshlight
Pro Tip: Make sure the screw cap on the end is loosened or removed entirely to avoid suction — and maybe some unexpected splash-back.

Once disassembled, rinse out the casing and really make sure to clean out the screw cap.

Under warm water, rinse out the inside of the sleeve.

You can also use Fleshlight’s Fleshwash cleaner or other compatible sex toy cleaners.

Once you’ve let the sleeve dry thoroughly, apply cornstarch or Fleshlight Renewal Powder if needed, reassemble the unit, and hide it away for future use.

How Couples Can Use A Fleshlight

Just because Fleshlights are meant for masturbation doesn’t mean you have to stick to a solo act.

Couples can enjoy Fleshlights together, with either one of you using it as a stroker for an enhanced handjob or during mutual masturbation.

There is actually a type of Fleshlight perfect for this called a Quickshot.

Quickshots are shorter with two open ends, giving your penis some extra clearance for your partner to suck or stroke with their hand as well.

If you mount the Fleshlight in some way, such as between a cushion or pillows, you two can even have an imaginary threesome together.

Tips, Positions, And Accessories For Next-Level Fleshlight Pleasure

photograph of the riley reid utopia fleshlight held between pillows with the vulva side facing the viewer

There are plenty of tips and tricks to up your Fleshlight game, whether you seek hands-free or automated play, temperature thrills, or virtual reality fantasies.

  • Go Hands-Free

You can use accessories like Fleshlight’s Liberator pillows or shower mounts to take your hands out of the equation.

Mounting the unit between some sturdy cushions is another way to achieve this — especially if you’re on a budget.

  • Explore Fleshlight Automation

The Fleshlight Universal Launch is an awesome bit of kit that does all of the hard work for you and can be used with any full-sized Fleshlights.

It might look like something out of the Matrix but it automates the stroking speed and intensity so all you have to do is hang on for the ride.

If you’re rocking a Quickshot, take heart — the Fleshlight Quickshot Launch does the exact same thing and accommodates all Quickshot models.

  • Warm Things Up

You can heat up the sleeve to feel closer to a human body temperature.

The most effective way is to use the Fleshlight Sleeve warmer, but you can use a hot water bath as well.

Do NOT throw it in the microwave!

  • Enjoy Full Immersion

If you want to dive into an even more realistic experience, you can use your Fleshlight while watching 3D porn on a VR headset.

Many of the actors from the Fleshlight Girls or Boys lines have their own VR videos for fans to enjoy.

For an interactive virtual reality Fleshlight experience, you can use your VR headset with one of the Launches to really get into it!

  • Go Without The Case

Remove the sleeve from the plastic casing for a more tactile experience, allowing you to keep control of the pressure and suction more intuitively.

This is also a great way to make your Fleshlight tighter if you find its fit isn’t quite snug enough.

Best Fleshlights To Try Right Now

If you’re curious to explore pleasure using a Fleshlight but aren’t sure where to start, allow me to introduce you to my very first one, which will always hold a special place in my heart: Riley Reid Utopia.

Utopia (Vulva)
Riley Reid Utopia
  • Feels Incredible & Surprisingly Realistic
  • Unique Interior Texture
  • Simple to Use, Adjustable Suction
  • Pretty Easy to Clean
  • Noisier Than Expected
  • Cleaning Takes More Work Than Regular Masturbation
  • Air Drying Can Take Hours
  • Risk Of Mold Growth If Not Maintained Properly
Bottom Line: Featuring an unbelievably sexy vulva (signed by Riley Reid!), this is one of the most popular Fleshlight Girl models for a reason. Intuitive to use, the innovative skin-like sleeve texture is unique and totally blew our expectations for Fleshlights out of the water.
$67.05 @ The Enhanced Male –> CODE: WHI10 $79.99 @ Adam & Eve

If you’re excited about the idea of Fleshlight Girls — modeled after famous pornstars — our favorites are below!

Are Fleshlights Safe?

Yes, Fleshlights are safe but keep in mind that you really need to clean them out and dry them thoroughly after each use.

Leaving it full of cum or wet, sticky lube can (and likely will) cause Fleshlight mold and mildew to form on the sleeve’s surface.

This can lead to infections and cause a myriad of problems.

Also, the provided Fleshlube is not recommended for use during actual vaginal intercourse.

One of the ingredients is the preservative citric acid, which can upset pH levels and cause discomfort or infections.

How To Clean Your Fleshlight

For as important as the cleaning is, there isn’t much to it.

Fleshlight offers their own brand of cleaning spray that can be helpful in fighting bacterial build up as well as several accessories to help with the drying process.

Just remove the sleeve, rinse and wash it out thoroughly (don’t use soap or detergents), and leave the sleeve out to dry (or use one of Fleshlight’s drying tools — like the Air or drying rack).

Once it’s bone dry, you can add Fleshlight’s Renewal Powder (which is just cornstarch) to keep the sleeve’s interior fresh.

From there, return the sleeve to its case, place the cap back on, and hide it away in a safe place for later use.

Closing Thoughts

Fantastic in their basic use, and mindblowing when combined with some creativity, you can see why Fleshlights are some of the most popular sex toys for people with penises.

Now that you know the basics of how to use a Fleshlight, play around and have fun with it!

Follow the tips we shared above, take good care of it, and you’ll enjoy your Fleshlight for years to come.

Editor’s Note: This article is part of our Complete Guide To Fleshlights and Everything Fleshlight hub, in-depth and evolving resources that comprehensively explore and review all aspects of Fleshlights from the company’s discreet billing and shipping, to the types of products they carry, how to use them, materials, and safety.