The Best Sex Forums & What You Need To Know Before Joining
People turn to adult sex forums for a variety of reasons but even the thought of trying to find a good one can seem overwhelming and — let’s be honest — might make the seeker feel like a pervert in the process.
There is no shame in talking about sex with other like-minded adults on the internet.
Our forum members and even the entire team behind Women’s Health Interactive do it all the time!
Do you have a sexual issue that’s waaay too personal to ask about on social media or among your closest circle of friends?
Are you looking for a cool new relationship forum for sexy conversations?
Maybe you want to find others that share your particular set of sexual interests and you’re just not sure where to start.
Those are all good reasons to seek out adult sex forums.
With that in mind, we’ve gathered what we think are some of the best sex forums around — discussing everything from relationships to porn and every aspect of human sexuality.
In this article, we’ll talk about:
- The Best Sex Forums:
- What Makes A Good Sex Forum
Best Sex Forums For Women
Our sex talk forum choices for women include some women’s only spaces and some that focus on women while inviting others, as well.
Additionally, we do not make a distinction between cis and trans women.
The best sex forums for women are:
- Reddit: Female Dating Strategy
- AmBi: Your Bi Social Community
- Women’s Health Interactive
- Special Bridge
When I discuss sex forums with other women, we agree that safety and privacy are paramount concerns.
Non-women don’t always understand what we go through, and how dangerous the internet can be.
We deserve to be able to go to sexual message boards or an online kink community without fear.
After safety, women tell us they’re looking for robust quality discussions, fast smackdowns of trolls, and no drama.
I hadn’t realized it was possible to be on the internet and avoid drama at the same time, but I digress.
June Esclada is a digital designer who navigates a plethora of virtual communities as part of her work.
She shared some of the tips she uses for online safety:
“The biggest safety tip is never giving out personal information such as your name, phone number, or address. I recommend going a step further and using a nickname rather than your actual name, too.
While using online platforms such as forums, it’s best to stick to the subject matter. If someone tries to steer you off in another direction in hopes of learning more about you, it’s best to back away and ignore the individual.
Should comments ever become concerning or uncomfortable, report and block the user entirely.”
Bottom Line: Navigation is straightforward and tags are plentiful. All in all, this is a friendly, helpful forum with a fun culture and a lot of truth and sisterly support in an all-female sex forum.
Bottom line: This forum is a community in the truest sense of the word, welcoming everyone and anyone who identifies as bisexual. While there are plenty of quiet lurkers, there’s also a vivacious core group of helpful, supportive commenters at AmBi. Regulars are eager to share their experiences and stories and mentor those who might be having a bad time.
Bottom line: Maybe I have a bias, but I think our forum is pretty great. I love that a topic from years ago may come up and inspire an entirely new thread of diverse viewpoints. The community base is smaller than other forums on this list, but it includes medical professionals, sex therapists, and sexperts of all stripes.
Bottom line: Special Bridge is devoted to ensuring a safe, honest place where disabled men and women can help each other out. The careful vetting and security protocols make this an especially good choice for women who are concerned about safety.
Best Sex Forums For Men
As a former phonesex gal, I thought I had a pretty good idea of what happens on adult message boards for men.
Turns out, I had a lot to learn.
I was surprised to find that anonymity is a primary concern for men in sex talk forums.
It makes sense though, that men wouldn’t want to put their name on a post about erectile dysfunction or even a relationship help forum.
We kept the possibility of anonymity in mind as we compiled our list of the best adult sex forums for men.
The best sex forums for men are:
Bottom line: One could argue that men and men’s issues command most of the focus in a community that’s supposed to be for everyone, but if you happen to be looking for a place to talk to other dudes about dudely things — this is it.
Bottom line: Chaturbate is a place where men can develop camaraderie and have meaningful chats with…well, mostly naked ladies. The point of this forum, as the name suggests, is masturbating during the chat. This website comes highly recommended by men who know exactly what they’re looking for and it’s a straightforward, innovative platform.
Bottom line: At Vintage Erotica Forum, a core commenter group and lots of visiting guests discuss porn classics, trends in photography and costuming, and trade vintage erotica with other members. If you’ve never been sure of how “porn” is different from “art,” this forum may convince you that it can be both. As porn sites go, it’s tops!
Bottom line: The rules emphasize that this site is about friends, community, and supportiveness. That resonates throughout the site — so if you’re a gay man looking for an active forum, this is a great one to explore.
Bottom line: By and large, any question will be answered with sincerity, a solid knowledge base, and maybe some humor. All in all, Quora has some robust communities and thought-provoking discourse. Sarcasm is not out of the question but overall, the commenters at Quora know what’s up.
Best LGBTQ Forums
In the interest of full disclosure, I am a cis bi chick living the straight life — in a monogamous marriage to a cis dude.
My sexual orientation aside, our picks for the best LGBTQ sex forums were chosen based on research and crowdsourcing among my LGBTQ friends and readers.
I invite anyone who thinks I’ve missed an important or especially great forum to please let us know.
It cannot be denied that the LGBTQ+ community has had some triumphs in the last generation or so. Legal marriage, adoption rights, and more people letting go of hatred in favor of inclusion.
We also can’t deny that in many pertinent ways, LGBTQ folk, and youth in particular, still have it rough.
With that in mind, forums that focus on Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, Questioning, Enby, or Ace topics can be a lifeline to those who cannot find a welcoming community in their town, school, or family.
A great LGBTQ forum can be a marriage advice forum, a sex talk forum, or an adult message board.
It all depends on what you’re looking for regardless of the gender binary and whether you identify as an LGBTQ person, transgender person, bisexual, male, female — or choose not to identify yourself at all.
The best sex forums for LGBTQ are:
Bottom line: Reading through GayForum, I found myself wishing it was available to people younger than 16 — not for the sex forum content, but for the honest discussions about gender identity versus orientation, or simply learning to be comfortable in your own skin when you feel like you’re keeping a secret from everyone.
Bottom line: Teens who need a sex talk forum to ask relationship questions or get advice are just as welcome as flummoxed boomers whose grandkids have just come out — everyone is welcome and both advice and opinions flow like very fine wine.
Bottom line: Women looking to dip their toe into Lake Porn (that’s a thing, right?) would do well to hang out here and take a look around. However, if you are new to porn and graphic sex talk, brace yourself. These women do not hold back. Expect forthright discussion on visual, audio, and literary content for every taste.
Bottom line: This LGBTQ+-focused forum is an open, public forum for sharing content that brings smiles to the faces of allies and every flavor of non-hetero non-cis living. It’s a fun community where the content leads to the same kind of talk you’d find on a sex board or a relationship forum. Plus the humor. So much humor.
Top BDSM Forums
Good ol’ Webster’s dictionary defines BDSM as a sexual activity involving consensual practices such as the use of physical restraints, granting/relinquishing of control, rough sex, and the infliction of pain.
Fans of BDSM practices may do it for the physical or psychological uniqueness of the experience.
There are as many reasons to experiment with bondage or submission, and the mental health community can’t seem to decide whether BDSM is a good thing or a bad thing.
Like most things — it’s all in how you go about it.
One of the cornerstones of BDSM and hardcore sex, however, is communication between partners.
Whether you’re just curious about BDSM or an advanced explorer, forums centered around the topic can be resources for not only useful information but commiseration.
The best BDSM forums are:
BDSM forums are well-known for their lack of judgment toward kinks or practices, the strong emphasis on consent and care for partners, and the shepherd-like willingness of senior members to offer advice and wisdom to BDSM padawans.
As such, these communities typically have a lot of rules — and are quick to bring down the banhammer on anyone who breaks them more than once.
Although some of our suggestions do allow for sexy conversations, none are considered to be a BDSM hookup forum alone.
Bottom line: Femdom features an expansive array of body types, ages (all adults, of course), ethnicities, and sizes. What I really love about this forum is how many ways there are to participate — from casual looky-loo to VIP users with a fleshed-out profile and robust community engagement. I challenge anyone not to find someone hot at Femdom. (Content warning: The word “slave” is used a lot here. If that’s a trigger for you, Femdom is best avoided.)
Bottom line: This one-stop-shop for fetishists has a steady flow of traffic from enthusiastic fetish enthusiasts. It’s a welcoming community of outspoken folks who love to gush about their favorite kinks and share with like minds.
Bottom line: One of the best things about Reddit is the passion users have for accurate information — it’s more than just people screaming anecdotes at each other. Communities like this one are largely self-moderating and the vibe in these adult sex talk forums is friendly, helpful, and forthcoming.
Bottom line: This Reddit is well organized and utterly fascinating. My own life is shockingly vanilla considering how much I talk about sex. The community is infinitely welcoming, accepting, encouraging, and helpful. If you’re looking to break into the scene and want to read up — this is the place to go.
- Honorable Mention: Private Facebook Groups
Facebook has its share of communities relating to kink, polyamory, and BDSM specifically. Unfortunately, a huge part of what makes these forums great also necessitates them being locked down.
That’s why the best Facebook BDSM groups are private. If you’re brave enough to ask around though, you might score yourself an invite.
Best Forums For Sex Toys And Tools
Safety in sex toy forums is a little different compared to other adult sex forums.
Users are far less likely to troll, stalk, dox, or harass other users because the conversation typically relates to choosing or using a sex toy — and that’s it.
There are far fewer hookup attempts and a lot less general jerk-baggery.
But there is one caveat to using an adult toy forum: You need to know who runs it.
The only reliable advice on any product — but especially an unregulated one like sex toys — comes from unbiased sources.
The owner of the forum can control content in ways that diminish other products while promoting their own — even when all the comments appear to come from individual users.
For this reason, read “About” pages on forum sites or Google the name of the parent company to see if your favorite forum is actually owned by Big Sex Toy.
With that in mind, it’s important to find a community where you can get honest answers and sage feedback from people in the know.
The best sex toy forums are:
- Women’s Health Interactive
- The Lovehoney Forum
- The Hip Forums: Love And Sex
- Reddit: /r/SexToys
- Eden Fantasy
What Sex Toys Are Commonly Discussed On Sex Forums?
It depends. Couples’ forums may focus on long-distance toys, wearable vibrators, or discreet vibes that can be used during intercourse.
Some sex toy forums discuss everything from tools for penis enlargement and male enhancement to the best magic wand for clitoral stimulation.
Requests for product recommendations are the number one topic on sex toy forums, followed by troubleshooting, gushing over a favorite toy (pun intended), and sharing general industry information.
If you’re a sex toy user — or just thinking about becoming one — some great communities provide helpful guidance and plenty of commiseration.
Bottom line: WHI’s sex toy forum is a solid starting point if you haven’t shopped for sex toys in a while and aren’t sure what’s out there. The most active participants include professional toy designers and reviewers, medical professionals, and sex workers — along with everyday people like moms and students.
Bottom line: If you’re not ready to stumble onto questions about anal fisting when you just needed a condom recommendation, this might not be the forum for you. Topics at this forum include sex toys, but also a huge selection of sexual activities from the vanilla to the…let’s say aggressively adventurous. It’s a sex-positive environment.
Bottom line: This is a vibrant, active forum with a helpful, welcoming commenter base and a great collection of topics held together by very basic forum decorum. There is no visible brand integration here and all content is user-generated. It is an entertaining and informative source for sex toy chatting.
Bottom line: The environment in the Sex Toys forum is very open and fun. The majority of Redditors share unabashedly about their personal experiences with sex toys, and with their partners using sex toys. In an era where online anonymity can be hard to come by — that’s a beautiful thing.
Bottom line: One of the things I hate about forums is when they tend to cater to noobs or experts with very little in-between. Eden Fantasys is a good time for everyone with an interest in, or questions about, sex toys. This is one of the forums I researched for this article that I intend to go back to. I love expressive, open sex talk about the current toy situation, and this place has it in spades.
What Makes A Good Sex Forum?
Like most things, what makes a good sex forum depends entirely on how you intend to use it — or what you’d like to get out of the time you spend there.
We’re all looking for different things in terms of security and privacy, conversation type and style, activity level, or subject matter.
Before diving into any forum, it’s a good idea to ask yourself a few questions before deciding which ones might be best for you:
- Who are you and who would you prefer to talk to?
- Do you prefer to remain anonymous?
- Do you feel safer using sites that confirm identities before joining?
- Would you prefer quick, easy signup, such as through an existing Facebook or Google account?
- Would you like to create a detailed profile with photos and a few fun paragraphs about yourself?
- Does your thirst for decorum mean you prefer distasteful topics to be kept out or are you an “anything goes” forum participant?
- Do you want specific amenities, such as access to private rooms or forums?
The first thing to consider is who you are and who you’d like to talk to — whether you’re cis, het, enby, ace, non-conforming, or a member of the LGBTQ+ community.
If you’re open to talking with anyone regardless of gender expression, sexual identity, or orientation, this may not matter to you at all.
However, comfort level is an essential component of a good forum experience and the existing community is a huge part of that.
Anonymity is another thing to consider.
If you’d rather remain anonymous, you’ll want to seek out a forum that allows you to be — without requiring signup through existing social media profiles or a form of identity verification.
Likewise, you might prefer to converse on a forum that verifies the identities of its users for security reasons.
Additionally, forums may be more or less heavily moderated, and that greatly affects user experience.
Some folks prefer moderators who jump in at the slightest hint of dicketry and tolerate no profanity.
Others enjoy forums that take a no-holds-barred approach to conversation direction and freedom of expression.
Finally, sex forums may offer unique amenities such as “secret” forums for longstanding members or private rooms to meet up with new friends.
These can both be a fun part of the experience, as well.
Again, what makes a sex forum “good” depends entirely on how you’d like to interact with others and what you’re looking to get out of it.
If you’re looking for a hookup forum site or a sugar daddy, an adult forum that doesn’t allow in-person hookups probably isn’t going to be a fit for you.
For our purposes, however, we’re only covering adult forums that can be accessed using an internet browser.
None of the best sex forums we recommend will require users to download an app, although some may have one.
How Did We Determine The “Best” Forums?
We thought long and hard about the right metrics to use to determine the best adult sex message boards out there.
It was a challenge because, as we mentioned earlier, “best” is entirely subjective based on each user’s needs and preferences.
If you’re looking for Craigslist personals, a dating forum, a standalone chat room, or a dating app, you’re not going to find that here.
To that end, we considered the following when curating our list of the best sex forums and chat sites:
- Who is the forum for? We broke down our top picks based on the primary demographic of the community but also considered if it is open to everyone or if it acts as a safe space from certain populations or attitudes.
- What is the forum about and how active is the community? For this category, we looked at the quality and quantity of new posts and responses in addition to the theme of the forum. The ones that made our list all have daily or weekly updates to their most active topics. We also looked at how much trolling goes on, and what the mods do to address it.
- Where is the forum located? All of our picks feature the main web address and can be accessed via browser without requiring an app download.
- How is the user experience? For this category, we considered the user experience overall. How does the adult forum look? Is it easy to navigate if you become a forum member? Do users need to decipher hieroglyphics to create a login and password? What about identity confirmation, notifications, and privacy settings?
- Does the forum offer bonus amenities? Some forums have special amenities like private chat rooms, video chat, sex toy integration, or the ability to share stories or explicit photos.
A Note About Privacy Vs. Safety While Using Sex Forums
The debate over privacy versus security is especially volatile in sex talk forums.
We may feel safe when we don’t have to give up any personal information but that’s a double-edged sword — users also can’t confirm anyone else’s personal details, either.
There’s a level of comfort that comes with knowing our chat buddies really are who they claim to be, but we might not be able to know for sure without giving up our personal information in the process.
If you’re serious about protecting your personal information — and you should be — there are steps you can take to protect your privacy and stay safe while using online forums:
- Do not post any personally identifiable information, including your address, phone number, or employer on your public profile. Share such information with others ONLY if you feel you can trust them.
- Be cautious about listing your social media accounts in your profile, especially if those accounts are viewable by the public. Social media accounts can reveal a lot of personally identifying information — and you may not even realize it.
Whether or not you’re using forums to meet new people, keeping safety in mind is a necessary step to enjoying adult talk forums.
The forums we shared here are by no means an exhaustive list of all the opportunities for sexy discussion out there, but they’re a great list of the best ones to start with.
Especially if you’ve never explored one before.
It can seem overwhelming and even a little intimidating to talk openly about sex in a forum — especially when you’re seeking sex advice.
The vast majority of folks that use sex forums are warm, welcoming, respectful, and very helpful.
We promise you’ll be in good company.
If you’re looking to join a welcoming community right now, we invite you to join the Women’s Health Interactive forums!
Visit the forums by clicking on the “Discuss” link/button that appears at the end of this article.