While daunting at first, using a vibrator on a woman quickly becomes instinctual — and it is an experience like no other.
My advice: Let yourself go, respond to her cues, and get creative.
A vibrator is called a sex toy for a reason.
It’s meant to be played with and using one on a woman should be fun for every party involved in the undertaking.
If you’ve ever wondered how to pleasure a woman with a vibrator, this article is for you.
Editors Note: for our purposes, the term “women” encompasses both binary and non-binary women.
In this article, we’ll talk about:
Editor’s Note: This article is part of our How To Use A Vibrator and Everything Vibrators hubs, in-depth and evolving resources that comprehensively explore all aspects of vibrators from the different types and how to use them, to materials and safety — created to help you achieve the sexual pleasure you deserve.
How To Use A Vibrator On A Woman
Whether you’re wondering how to use a vibrator on that cute girl you’ve started dating — or your wife — there’s lots to explore.
You may even be asking yourself, “Should I buy my wife a vibrator?”
Believe it or not, there are many different ways to use a vibrator on a woman and it isn’t nearly as complicated as you think.
One important thing to remember is that not all vibrators are created equal.
There are many different types of vibrators, each with its own function, shape, interface, and speed capacity.
You’ll find a wand vibrator is shaped quite differently from a clit sucking vibrator, for instance.
A finger vibrator might be perfect for clitoral stimulation, but a G-spot or vaginal vibrator will do the job best if she needs internal stimulation.
Types of vibrators you might explore using on a woman include:
- Bullets, wands, or clit vibrators that can be used on the clitoris, vulva, labia, nipples, and any erogenous zone she enjoys
- Egg vibrators are ideal for stimulation of the clit, vulva, nipples, and other erogenous zones as well, but some models that have a sturdy retrieval string can be inserted for vaginal or anal stimulation
- Clit sucking vibrators can be used to stimulate the clitoris, mimicking cunnilingus quite well, but they can also add a suckling sensation against any erogenous zone she enjoys — think of them as having a second mouth to play with
- Finger vibrators can be worn on your hand while masturbating a vulva or during cunnilingus, but they can also be used anywhere else on the body (except for inside the anus)
- G-spot or vaginal vibrators can be inserted for targeted G-spot stimulation but they can also be used externally against the vulva and any erogenous zone on the body
With such a variety available, there are endless ways to play when using vibrators.
If you’re ready to get started, here are some tips for how to use a vibrator on a woman.
- Take your time: Vibrators go from 0 to 100 with the click of a button, yet arousal takes a bit longer for most. Start slow, at the lowest speed, and work your way up from there.
- Tease her: Try edging your partner, bringing her close to orgasm with a vibrator, stopping completely, and then starting again. You can also put the vibrator on and around her inner thighs or hover it over her genitals to build incredible tension.
- Explore: Don’t feel like you’re limited to a certain area of the body when using a vibrator on a woman. Along with the clitoris and vulva, try using a vibrator on other erotic areas of her body like her nipples, inner thighs, feet, hands, neck, and anywhere else she enjoys the sensation.
- Respond to her body’s cues: A quickening of breath, groaning, and sighing often signifies that your partner is enjoying sexual stimulation. If you’re worried that you won’t be able to pick up on your partner’s body language, ask her to tell you what she likes.
Using vibrators with a partner should be a fun experience that enhances your sex life.
There is no right or wrong way to use a vibrator on a woman, just follow what feels good and enjoy yourselves together!
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How To Insert A Vibrator Into A Woman’s Vagina Or Anus
Using an insertable vibrator with a partner is extremely sexy and can be a huge turn-on for both parties involved.
Key things to know before you begin:
- Use lube
- Build her arousal before inserting anything into her vagina or anus
- Insert the vibrator slowly (especially during anal penetration)
- Follow her cues
If your vibrator is insertable, it’s best to use a bit of personal lubricant before insertion to ensure the experience remains as comfortable as possible.
Silicone vibrators are incredibly popular, but it’s important to note that these cannot be used with silicone lube, as the lubricant will degrade the toy’s material over time.
If you’re at all unsure of your vibrator’s materials, stick with a water-based lube.
A vaginal vibrator or G-spot vibrator can be used on, in, and around the vagina.
I recommend starting on the vulva — externally — and focusing the vibrations on the labia and clitoris first.
After your partner is highly aroused, gently slip the vibrator inside her vagina to stimulate her G-spot or vaginal walls.
Depending on the type of stimulation your partner prefers, you can thrust your vibrator in and out of her vagina (gently!), or swirl it around and against her vaginal wall.
It’s important to keep the lines of communication open here — follow her cues and if something becomes uncomfortable or painful, stop immediately.
As long as your vibrator is safe for anal use, it can be inserted anally in the same manner — just be sure to use a good anal lube and go slowly.
Finally, do not switch between anal and vaginal insertion (or vice versa) without cleaning the toy thoroughly first.
This is important: Bacteria from the anus can cause urinary tract infections or vaginal infections if it comes in contact with the urethra or the vaginal canal.
Always clean your sex toys — thoroughly — when switching between the anus and vagina.
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How To Use A Vibrator On A Vulva
You can use almost any type of vibrator against a vulva but the biggest thing to remember when using a vibrator on a woman is this:
Listen to her, follow her cues, and respond to her needs accordingly.
This is particularly true if you’re using a vibrator that’s incredibly powerful on someone who prefers lighter stimulation.
Many (if not most) modern vibes offer a wide variety of functions and speeds to choose from, and these can be great fun to explore — but at the same time, it is possible to have too much of a good thing.
If you’re teasing the labia or vulva with a vibrator, take your time and see what she likes before turning the speed or intensity higher.
This is especially important when it comes to direct stimulation of the clitoris.
The clit is super-sensitive and although some women love direct vibration that’s intense, it may be too strong (or downright uncomfortable!) for others.
When using a vibrator on a woman’s clitoris, start on the lowest settings first — and increase the speed and intensity if she asks or encourages it.
(And don’t surprise her out of the blue with the highest vibration setting — you might get a swift knee to the face.)
Bullets, clit vibrators, clit sucking vibes, vibrating eggs, vaginal or G-spot vibrators, and wand massagers can be used anywhere against the vulva, labia, or clitoris during sex play or cunnilingus.
Finger vibrators are particularly great for masturbating a vulva because they act as an extension of your hand and they can be used to tease any part of the vulva — even during cunnilingus.
Just about any type of vibrator can be used on a vulva, but be sure to keep the lines of communication open with your partner so a good time can be enjoyed by all — especially if you’re playing with a vibrator in public.
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How To Use A Vibrator On A Woman During Sex
Sex positions with a vibrator can get a little tricky, especially if you’re trying a brand new vibrator for the first time.
My favorite no-fail, go-to penetrative sex position to try with a vibrator requires a bit of logistical work but is definitely worth it.
Have your partner lay on her stomach with a vibrator placed directly on her clit.
Once she’s fully aroused, penetrate her from behind. You can reach around and hold the vibrator on her clit, or have her position it to her exact liking.
The benefit to this is that just about any vibrator will work, whether you’re using a bullet, wand massager, vibrating egg, G-spot, or vaginal vibrator.
A clit-sucking vibrator may not work as well unless she can hold it in place firmly with her hand.
Clit suckers can be finicky when it comes to placement and if it shifts during penetration and movement, the magic may be lost.
A wearable vibrator is another great option during penetrative sex because most can be used hands-free in any position that allows access to the vagina or anus.
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Will Vibrators Cause Desensitization?
No — vibrators will not cause desensitization of the clitoris, vulva, or vagina.
Extended use may cause short-term numbness or tingling, which dissipates after you take a break from the stimulation.
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Is It Safe To Use A Vibrator On A Pregnant Woman?
In most cases, yes – it is safe to use a vibrator on a pregnant woman.
In fact, orgasms are beneficial during pregnancy, helping to lower stress levels, improve sleep and even ease the pain of childbirth.
As long as the pregnant woman isn’t at risk for preterm labor/delivery or miscarriage and has not had pregnancy complications (such as placenta previa), it is safe to use a vibrator on her.
If you or your partner are at all unsure about doing so, however, talk to her OB-GYN first.
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Choosing A Vibrator For A Woman
I think buying a vibrator for a woman is a fabulously romantic gesture.
That said, if she’s never used one before and you’re not sure if she’d even like one, it’s probably a good idea to talk to her about it first.
By doing this, you can gauge what kind she might like, and maybe even select one together!
If she’s not sure what type of vibrator she might enjoy, our helpful vibrator quiz can provide guidance.
Vibrators to choose from include:
No matter what type of stimulation someone enjoys, there is a perfect vibrator out there that’s waiting to be discovered.
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Do Women Like Vibrators?
Yes! Many women enjoy vibrators, though every single body (and vibrator!) is unique.
Some women might enjoy certain vibrators over others, depending on the types of vibration or stimulation they provide.
For instance, if a woman uses a vibrator with intense, buzzy vibrations when she prefers diffused, rumbly sensations, she may not enjoy that particular vibrator.
Additionally, some women have never tried a vibrator before — and therefore don’t know if they’d like it or not.
Thankfully, today’s sex toy market is alive and thriving so we’re able to experiment and find toys that suit our liking, whatever that happens to be.
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In Conclusion
There are endless ways to enjoy a vibrator and using one on a woman is an enjoyable and magnificent experience.
With so many kinds of vibrators to choose from, we are free to try everything and anything that sparks interest.
If you’re still searching for the perfect vibrator for your girlfriend or wife (or yourself!), check out our Everything Vibrators guide to explore all of your options.
And if you don’t know what kind of vibrator to try, take our vibrator quiz to help you find the right one!
