Why Am I So Horny? 5 Simple Reasons You Want It All The Time…
Have you ever wondered why you get so horny? Does your high libido have you – or your partner – feeling frustrated or curious as to what’s going on?
Woman Seductively Lying On A Couch

Have you ever rushed home from work in a sexual frenzy, overwrought by the desire to get mind-blowingly laid?  

Have you ever tried to concentrate on an important task only to have your mind wander deeply into an erotic scene that you just can’t pause no matter how hard you try?  

Has your partner ever asked for a break because your sexual appetite has rocked their socks completely off and they’ve got nothing left?

If you answered yes to any of the above then you have probably also thought, “What the heck is wrong with me? Why am I SO horny?”  

If the female libido had a Facebook page, her relationship status would undoubtedly be “it’s complicated”.

Women are a complex sexual being, much more than men. Sexual desire and pleasure are as much, if not more, an above the belt issue than below. Dr. Jaime Seeman, OB-GYN

There is no one size fits all answer for the increase or decrease of female libido, but let’s take a look at a variety of factors that may be impacting your sex drive right this very second.

Article Summary:

Here are some factors that contribute to sexual arousal and libido in women:

  • Hormones
  • Brain
  • Emotions
  • Age, Wisdom, Confidence
  • Medical Issues, Culture, History

5 Reasons You’re Always So Horny

Hormones

Women’s hormones are like a well-mixed cocktail: too much or too little of any one ingredient will cause unfavorable results.

The big difference is that the recipe for our lady cocktail changes over and over throughout each menstrual cycle.  

Unless you are using hormonal birth control methods (the pill, Depo, implants) or have other underlying health conditions that would impact your menstrual cycle, what I’m about to describe below is a pretty good representation of what happens in your body each month and how it can impact your sexual desire.

Infographic Showing Female Hormone's Affect on Sex Drive During Menstrual Cycle

(Click image to enlarge)

I won’t bore you trying to explain exactly what they do and how they work – (just click the links if you want to find out more!) – but suffice it to say they determine many different aspects of your health and well-being.

Essentially, this is a time I like to refer to as my “sigh of relief” time. My sleep quality is great, I am comfortable, confident, focused, and sexual but not overcome with constant sexual urges.

  • Ovulation Phase (PMS Part 1): There are only a few days of balanced bliss before estrogen levels start a slow increase until we reach the second phase of the cycle, called Ovulation.  

As we approach this mid-point in the cycle, estrogen reaches a peak, our LH takes a big jump and progesterone begins to increase but only slightly.

This is a touchy time for many women. Some of us feel on top of the world during ovulation while others experience symptoms I like to call “PMS Part 1.”  

Also, you might notice an increase in cervical fluid during this time. Often confused with discharge, this magical fluid gives sperm the perfect medium to swim to the egg you released during ovulation!

One thing that remains fairly consistent for obvious reasons during this phase is an increased appetite for sexual satisfaction, which can be explained by the rising testosterone levels the few days before and after ovulation.

Studies agree with this, showing that as LH and estrogen levels increase, the libido also increases – a potential double whammy!

Bartender Mixing A Cocktail Of Female Hormones

This may be a time when you’re rushing home for some sexy time with your partner or favorite BOB (battery operated boyfriend) and wondering why you’re so horny!

And it just so happens that during this phase we are very fertile with our bodies deliberately aiming to become pregnant.   

Mother Nature is a smart one, isn’t she?

  • Luteal Phase (PMS Part 2): Well, ovulation was fun, but it’s time to move on to the third and last phase of our cycle, the Luteal Phase or what I like to call “PMS Part 2”.   

During this phase – which occurs immediately after ovulation – our estrogen levels steadily decline, but don’t get quite as low as they are during the Follicular Phase.

In addition, our LH levels take a steep drop back down where they were before ovulation, and our progesterone steadily increases from this point until we begin our next menstrual period where we start these phases all over again.  

The same study referred to above also attributes an increase in progesterone to a decrease in libido.   

As estrogen drops and progesterone increases, it makes perfect sense that we might feel a bit sluggish, have trouble sleeping, have crazy dreams, and might even become a crazy, enraged PMS alter ego of ourselves.  

And, thus, it especially makes sense that during this phase, we might not experience our normal vivacious sexual appetite.  

What about testosterone?

That sounds like a dude hormone, right? It is. But it also belongs in our lady cocktail in small doses and as if we weren’t miraculous enough already, our ovaries actually produce it.

Testosterone plays many roles in the female body, but it is well known for its role in our sexual drive.

While not enough testosterone can cause a decrease in your libido, a little too much testosterone can result in an insatiable sexual appetite.  

But don’t worry! If there are no underlying medical conditions and you are a woman who just naturally has a higher than average testosterone level, there is nothing wrong with that. You overachiever, you!

What about the effect of birth control on your sex drive?

So where does that leave those of you using hormonal birth control methods?  

Well, it depends on what you’re using.  

When the first oral contraceptive called Enovoid was approved by the FDA in 1960, it was described as a synthetic form of progesterone.  

Since then, more pills have been developed that include different combos of estrogen and progestins in varying dosages in efforts to be used by all women.  

Today, most oral contraceptives and other hormonal birth control methods offered are considered low dose – which means they contain just enough progesterone and/or estrogen to stop ovulation – and whether you take them or not is a deeply personal decision.

The success rate of these birth control methods relies on the fact that if we stop ovulation, we stop the chance of becoming pregnant.  

Other birth control methods, like copper IUDs and progestin IUDs, do not stop ovulation but prevent pregnancy in other ways.

Copper ions from the copper IUD are toxic to sperm, killing it as it enters the uterus and prohibiting pregnancy.

The hormones in the progestin IUD make cervical mucus thicker, which prohibits the sperm from traveling to an egg. Therefore, no pregnancy occurs.

But it does not come without a cost which often includes unwanted side effects that are the result of altering the body’s natural hormone manufacturing system with synthetic/artificial hormones.   

Which in turn could drastically alter your sexual desire – for better or worse.

Bottom Line: You are a walking hormone factory!

Your body is working hard every day to create the right balance of hormones to make you the fierce and beautiful woman that you are. If you experience changes to your sex drive throughout each menstrual cycle, you can give hormones at least partial credit for that.  

If you are on hormonal birth control and have experienced a drastic change in libido whether good or bad, the dosage of hormones in the birth control may very well be the cause.

Young Black Woman With Closed Eyes Looking Up Confidently

Brain

So there are hormones…yeah, but we’re surely not just robots fueled by hormones, are we?  

Of course not.

You have this big and beautiful machine in your head that is the most powerful sex organ of all. Your BRAIN!

You might feel like the power completely resides in your genitals, but in fact, it resides mostly in your big ‘ole noggin.  

Have you ever noticed that you’re turned on by certain smells, sounds or sights?  

If you have, this is your brain creating a response to these stimuli by in turn secreting neurotransmitters like dopamine. Dopamine is like a reward system, produced in response to behaviors like sex, food, and drugs.

Maybe it’s a familiar cologne or the sound of “Animal” by NiN (umm…okay…maybe that’s just me) coming across the radio that gets your fire burning? Well, that’s your brain talking, the hypothalamus to be exact!

Whether a thought comes darting through your mind when you see a particular color or hear a certain name, or whether listening to someone talk or watching a movie elicits erotic desires, it all starts with the freedom your brain feels to roam and wander, thus triggering something that “sparks” desire.

Bottom Line: That lovely brain of yours is helping determine what levels of hormones to produce, what emotions you feel or do not feel, and what sights, sounds and smells you are most attracted to – and thus, can directly correlate to increased libido and sexual desire.

Lesbian Couple Laughing And Happy In Bed

Emotions

Who wants to talk about emotions?  

Yeah, me neither.  

But let’s face it, emotions play an enormous role in our attraction to others and our desire to have naughty time with them.  

Emotions are controlled in the brain (that darn hypothalamus again), but I decided that emotions deserve a section of their own.  

Why do you think new couples have so much sex? Emotions!  

They have embarked upon a new journey with someone they are physically, mentally and emotionally attracted to.

They feel excited, happy, intrigued, attractive and desired — and they’re simultaneously getting all their emotional needs met at the same time, which as we know rarely ever happens in life.  

The result of all those emotions is a drastically increased sexual desire.  

The same can apply to long-term couples who are great together and work to maintain those emotions and feelings.  

I have personally discovered that my sex drive is extremely interconnected with my emotions.

If I am upset at my partner, I lose all sexual desire for him until I am no longer upset regardless of hormones or other factors.

Poor guy, right?  

But the same applies when things in our relationship are really good. Then I feel extra sexual toward him.  

What about when life is just tough and throws you a curveball?  

We all know that life isn’t always unicorns dancing on sidewalks made of rainbows.  

Between stressful jobs, raising children, dwindling bank accounts, marital/relationship issues, sometimes life is just plain hard.  

In those cases, the very key to rekindling that fire is to make sure your inner spark is fanned.

How to do this is different for everyone, but without it, you’ll slowly and surely lose your desire.

I have noticed that having fun usually equates to a higher sexual drive for me.

Life can be very serious a lot of the time with the constant adulting, so it is super important for me to make time to have FUN and make memories.  

When my partner and I make time to spend together to do fun things, my sexual desire for him increases.  

Bottom Line: Having a high sex drive is about so much more than hormones and the mechanical inner-workings of our bodies and brains.

A happy and healthy emotional state is critical to a vivacious libido! Emotions can leave you feeling super horny or super NOT horny, all depending on which emotions you’re experiencing, and why.

Happy Older Couple Man Kissing Woman's Cheek

Age, Wisdom, and Confidence

Often, inhibitions toward sexual freedom hinge upon the insecurities of our bodies, our ability to perform sexual acts adequately or risk of pregnancy and/or disease.  

With age comes wisdom and confidence, right? For many of us, it definitely does!  

I can attest to the fact that in my younger years I was much more inhibited in the sack, always worried about how my body would be judged or how my performance would be enjoyed.  

“What if he notices my cellulite? Okay, if I turn the lights off and stay in this position, maybe he won’t see it!”  

“What if he thinks my vagina looks ugly?”

“What if I queef?! OH, GOD!”

“What if he doesn’t like what I do?”  

I am sure you can add your own insecure paranoia to this list.  

Additionally, despite practicing safe sex, I also worried that I’d get pregnant by someone I didn’t want to be with long term.  

Suffice it to say that achieving an orgasm was LAST on my list of concerns, and until I was in my mid-twenties, I had never actually experienced one.  

A few more years of wisdom and experience has blessed me with body confidence, confidence in my sexual skills and as a result, I find myself having much more fulfilling sexual encounters.  

More fulfilling encounters result in an increased desire for them. After all, it’s like finding a food that you REALLY enjoy, it is only natural to crave more of it!

But age does not always equal confidence.

Some of us become more and more insecure about our bodies as we age. Maybe you are battling the mom-apron.

Maybe you have cellulite.

Maybe you have stretch marks or spider veins you think are ugly.  

I can tell you that those things are normal (they are) and that most men are not turned off by them (they aren’t), but if your confidence level suffers from them your sex drive will likely suffer too.  

The opposite is true of high confidence and sex drive.  

Bottom Line: If you feel good about how you look in your birthday suit and are proud to model it for your partner — or if you are just happy and comfortable with where you are in life — you are likely to have more frequent, more uninhibited and more fulfilling sex.  

If your libido is super high, maybe you’re just in a great place in your life!

Young Woman In Field of Pink Flowers Arms Outstretched Empowered By Sexual Freedom

Medical Issues, Culture, and History

If your libido is suddenly off the charts and is negatively affecting your life and ability to function in society, it is possible that an underlying medical condition is to blame.  

I would recommend speaking to your physician if you believe what you’re experiencing is abnormal. It’s possible that medications you’re taking (antidepressants, birth control pills, etc.) could be harming your sexual desire and function.

However, the question of normalcy has been a hot topic for women since the dawn of time.  

In the 19th century, women with libidos we would consider normal today were considered ill. They were studied and treated as anomalies.

This same behavior in men was considered normal and necessary.  

Then the clitoridectomy procedure was created to try to reign in this indecent and unladylike behavior.  

If you’re not squeezing your legs shut at this point and writhing in imaginary pain, give some thought to what you think a clitoridectomy might be.

As if menstruation and childbirth aren’t painful enough, let me just go ahead and slice off my clitoris.  

Yeah, no thanks.  

The 20th century brought about slow change, but women were still raised to believe that they should never discuss sexual matters like intercourse, masturbation or libido.  

As a result, women never truly knew what was sexually normal for them and what was not.  

Women are not the sexually indifferent and submissive animals we were once believed to be.

Thankfully, the 19th and 20th-century mentality on women’s sexual health is almost unrecognizable today, but we are still undeniably overcoming some of it. 

Bottom Line: Today, we know that it is not only okay but normal and encouraged for women to have active and healthy libidos and sex lives. We know now that there is no reason to feel ashamed.

We are finally breaking those historical and cultural chains and discovering how wonderful sex truly is! Today, you’re free to be horny!

Black and White Image Photo Nude Woman Legs Crossed and Hands Covering Breasts

In Conclusion

So….now you know why you’re so horny, but what can you do about it?  

ENJOY it!

Avoid treating your partner like an orgasm robot and find fun ways to spice things up a bit.  

Initiate sex at different times and in different places than you usually do. Don’t let your sexual hunger cause you to lose sight of the passion, love, and intimacy you feel with your partner and definitely don’t make it all about you.   

If you’re single and horny, there’s good old-fashioned porn and masturbation – in fact, you can invest in a nice g-spot stimulator/vibrator and enjoy!

There are many places you can order and a number of devices online at reasonable prices that offer shipping privacy.  

And most importantly, RELAX!

You’re just a happy, healthy, balanced and vibrant woman with a mega-brain, a beautiful vagina and the sex drive to match!


Have YOU ever felt hornier than “normal” at one point in your life? Maybe you’re experiencing this feeling right now? How do you deal with it? Are you still confused or curious about what’s going? Do you want to know what other women are experiencing?

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