Why Am I So Horny? Reasons You Want It All The Time (And How To Deal)

It’s normal for libido to fluctuate and a high sex drive isn’t indicative of a sexual disorder — there are many possible reasons why you feel horny all the time.
inky illustration featuring two women leaning close to one another as if about to kiss in the middle of a busy city street at sunset, being horny concept
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Updated:January 2024

There are plenty of reasons why a person may constantly feel horny and much of the time, it’s perfectly normal and the result of your brain, hormones, increased desire for someone, being in a generally good emotional state, or having great overall body confidence.

At the same time, horniness can be also affected by changes in medications (or medical conditions), your diet, and even alcohol consumption.

Watch our video below to learn more:

Key Takeaways:

  • Our brains are sex organs that can spark desire — suddenly and often without warning — and multiple areas of the brain affect our response to sexual stimuli.
  • Having a happy and healthy emotional state can boost a person’s horniness because when you feel good about yourself, you simply feel sexier, which can increase your sex drive.
  • Likewise, body confidence and enjoying fulfilling sexual encounters can make you crave more sex.
  • A person’s menstrual cycle can affect horniness, as levels of progesterone, estrogen, testosterone, and luteinizing hormone (LH) fluctuate throughout the month and impact sexual desire as a result.
  • Off-the-chart libido, especially if it comes on suddenly, could be due to an underlying medical condition or a change in medications. Additionally, diet and alcohol consumption can affect how horny a person feels.

Have you ever rushed home from work in a sexual frenzy, overwrought by the desire to get mind-blowingly laid?

Or perhaps tried to concentrate on an important task only to have your mind wander deeply into an erotic scene that you just can’t pause no matter how hard you try?

Have you been using your vibrator so frequently that you’re starting to wonder if it will eventually desensitize your clitoris or vagina? (Spoiler alert: it won’t.)

If you answered yes to any of the above, you’ve probably also thought, “What the heck is wrong with me? Why am I SO horny?”

As it turns out, there’s likely nothing wrong with you — and we’ll tell you why.

Editor’s note: The terms men/male and women/female refer to binary and non-binary members of those genders.

Why You Might Be Horny All The Time

inky illustration of a man and a woman in an embrace with their foreheads against one another while standing in the middle of a crowded city street at sunset, being horny concept

First things first: what does “horny” really mean?

Basically, “horny” is a slang term for being aroused, sexually active, or wanting to have sex.

There are hundreds of reasons why people get turned on, but if you’re asking yourself, “Why am I so horny all the time?”, the answer will be based on factors individual to you.

General Reasons Why You Might Be Horny Constantly

Regardless of gender or sexual orientation, there are several reasons why you might be feeling horny often, or even constantly.

These include:

  • Your brain
  • Emotional and social factors
  • Confidence, age, and wisdom
  • Diet
  • Alcohol consumption
  • Medication

We’ll take a look at each below.

  • How Your Brain Impacts Your Sex Drive 

The brain is a powerful sex organ, and although the science isn’t yet fully understood, neurotransmitters that include dopamine and serotonin appear to have a significant impact on sexual response.

“Sexual desire and pleasure are as much, if not more, an above-the-belt issue than below,” according to Dr. Jaime Seeman, an OB-GYN on our medical review board.

Multiple areas of the brain appear to impact sexual behavior, including:

  • Thalamus: relays erotic stimuli
  • Amygdala: influences sex drive and “gives emotional significance” to erotic stimuli, as well as influencing partner selection
  • Prefrontal cortex: influences sex drive and initiation of sexual behavior
  • Cingulate cortex: processes sexual stimuli and influences sex drive
  • Hypothalamus: affects partner selection and autonomic sexual behavior

When a sexy thought enters your brain, you hear a song that turns you on, or a certain scent gets you going, it sparks desire in your brain — making you horny.

  • How Emotional And Social Factors Impact Your Sex Drive

As complicated as emotions are for people of all genders, they play an enormous role in our attraction to others.

Newly-established couples often feel excited, happy, intrigued, attractive, and desired — and they’re simultaneously getting all their emotional needs met at the same time.

This can result in drastically increased sexual desire.

The same goes for successful long-term couples who work to maintain those emotions.

For many of us, positive emotions and having fun can boost sex drive, while fights and feeling upset can diminish it.

  • Why Age, Wisdom, And Confidence Can Make You Hornier

With age comes wisdom and confidence, right?

Things like body insecurities, sexual performance anxiety, and even the risk of pregnancy and/or sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can make people of all genders anxious about sex.

As many of us get older, however, we may stop worrying about these things as much.

Years of sexual experience can help us to bring more confidence into the bedroom, and hence enjoy more fulfilling encounters — and have an increased desire for them.

  • How Diet Can Affect Your Sex Drive

You are what you eat, or so the saying goes, and perhaps your diet has led you to wonder, “Why have I been so horny lately?”

One study found that foods like watermelon, apples, and cacao (chocolate) can affect sexual and vascular health.

In fact, that same study noted that “daily apple consumption” is linked to improved vaginal lubrication and researchers say other fruits (like mangos, blackberries, or bananas) can be expected to perform similarly.

Raw oysters and avocados may also boost your libido or help facilitate “getting in the mood.”

Some research has found that zinc (found in oysters) may increase sperm production and raise testosterone, while vitamin B6 (in avocados) may decrease premenstrual symptoms in women.

Finally, one 10-week study found that men who ate high-fat/low-carb ketogenic diets (e.g., steak or almonds) experienced a significant increase in testosterone production, compared to men who ate low-fat diets.

What really matters when it comes to food is how you think it works on you,” Dr. Susan Milstein, a human sexuality health educator on our medical review board, said.

“If you really think that that plate of oysters is going to turn up your sex drive, then it will, but mostly from the placebo effect,” she explained.

“But don’t discount that! Confidence goes a long way when it comes to making us feel sexy,” she said.

  • How Alcohol Can Impact Your Sex Drive

While sloppy, alcohol-driven sexual encounters might not be satisfying (men often experience an inability to get/stay hard while women find it more difficult to orgasm), alcoholic beverages can initially loosen up inhibitions.

They can also boost confidence, helping to get you in the mood.

Our independent research found that sex on a first date was increasingly likely the more alcoholic beverages were consumed, which is a frightening statistic as it relates to consent.

Despite alcohol making a person feel more sexually experimental or assertive, drunk sex doesn’t always end in a satisfying sexual release.

  • Why Changes In Medication Can Affect Your Libido

Changing medication, shifting to a lower dosage, or going off a medication cold turkey can impact your sex drive — potentially boosting it, depending on your circumstances.

For instance, sexual dysfunction (including decreased libido) is often caused by anti-depressants, medications for high blood pressure, medications used to treat severe mental health disorders, opioids for pain management, and anti-epileptic drugs, among others.

Lower dosages of such medications can potentially increase libido — as can stopping them altogether (under a doctor’s care, of course.)

If you think your medication may be affecting your sex drive in a way that is not what you desire, it’s worth talking to your doctor to discuss your options.

Why A Woman Might Be Horny Constantly

inky illustration of two women sharing a kiss while standing in a busy city street at sunset, being horny concept

Women or people assigned female at birth (AFAB) might experience frequent or constant horniness for different reasons compared to men, including medical issues, culture, and history — along with hormones related to the menstrual cycle, and even needing to pee.

  • How Medical Issues, Culture, And History Can Impact A Woman’s Sex Drive

Although there are many normal reasons why your libido is suddenly off the charts, it’s possible an underlying medical condition is to blame.

When I experienced an infection and a resulting engorged clit, for instance, I was uncomfortably aroused almost all hours of the day — and contrary to popular belief, it didn’t feel great.

If the amount of horniness you’re experiencing right now seems abnormal to you, or if it is causing you distress, it’s a good idea to speak to your physician to get to the root of the problem.

Still, the question of “normalcy” as it relates to the female sex drive is impossible to answer because every woman is different.

Attitudes toward women’s “normal” sexuality were negative in the past — and only in recent decades have women been encouraged to have active and healthy libidos and sex lives.

After being liberated of those historical and cultural chains, many have been happier and hornier than ever.

  • How The Menstrual Cycle Can Affect A Woman’s Sex Drive

Some estrogen and testosterone therapies and even pregnancy can potentially boost sex drive, but barring the use of hormonal birth control, a woman’s menstrual cycle is a wheel that spins on its own and it can impact libido throughout the month.

A woman’s menstrual cycle has three phases: follicular, ovulation, and luteal.

circular infographic depicting the three phases of a woman's menstrual cycle as it relates to horniness: phase 1 (follicular) low hormones and medium sex drive; phase 2 (ovulation) increase in estrogen and LH with high sex drive; phase 3 (luteal) estrogen and LH declining and sex drive is low

The first phase (follicular) begins on the same day the menstrual period starts, when progesterone, estrogen, and luteinizing hormone (LH) are at their lowest point.

When the ovulation phase begins, estrogen and LH increase, and a woman’s sex drive often rises — the body’s response and preparation for potentially making a baby.

After ovulation passes and the luteal phase begins, estrogen, LH, and progesterone decline, and sex drive can lower in tandem.

  • How A Full Bladder Can Make A Woman Feel Horny

While you might not immediately associate horniness with having to pee, many women note that a full bladder can spark sexual arousal.

This may be due to the internal anatomy,” Dr. Milstein explained. “While we often focus on the external part of the clitoris, it actually extends several inches into the body.”

“When the bladder is full it can put pressure on the internal clitoris, as well as nerves and other sensitive areas around the vagina,” she said. “This can lead to an increase in arousal.”

No scientific research has been performed (yet), but for some women, having sex with a full bladder can actually increase sensation.

Why A Man Might Be Horny Constantly

inky illustration of two men leaning toward one another to share a kiss while standing in the middle of a busy city sidewalk in the evening, being horny concept

Of course, women aren’t the only ones who experience extreme horniness.

Men or people assigned male at birth (AMAB) have their own set of reasons why they might frequently or constantly have sex on the brain, including frequent masturbation, hormones, morning erections, and even basic anatomy.

  • How Frequent Masturbation Can Affect Male Horniness

Masturbating regularly or chronically can potentially cause more frequent horniness in men, simply because it feels good — and the thought of doing it again leads to further arousal.

Men may jerk off with regularity (even daily), watch porn more frequently, and think about sex often, which can cause involuntary horniness throughout the day.

  • How Hormones Can Make A Man Feel Horny All The Time

Although men don’t have a menstrual cycle or go through menopause, their hormones fluctuate too.

Spikes in testosterone in men (often after exercise) can increase horniness, and the amount of testosterone they produce can increase or wane as they progress through life.

While some men experience a decrease in sex drive or bouts of erectile dysfunction as they get older, young men generally have higher testosterone levels — which boost sex drive and peak in their teens, 20s, and 30s.

Dr. Milstein noted it’s important to remember that “hormones are only a part of what impacts our libido.”

  • Why Sleep Can Impact Male Horniness

Although more research is needed to discern why sleep-related erections occur, some experts believe it’s related to higher testosterone levels in the morning and hormonal spikes overnight, REM sleep, and even the sensation of a full bladder creating a spinal reflex that results in an erection.

Whatever the reason, waking up with an erection can make a man feel horny — and it can be a daily occurrence for some.

  • Why Basic Anatomy Can Increase Male Horniness

This might seem like a no-brainer, but the penis is an external sex organ — which means it’s constantly in contact with clothing and even the person’s own body (thighs or pelvis) as it moves through the world.

When material pulls or tugs against the penis, or a man’s thigh shifts the penis while walking, sitting, or doing any activity that involves movement, it can result in a spontaneous erection.

How To Tell If You’re Horny

inky illustration of a man and woman looking at one another with expressions of lust as they stand together in the middle of a sunset lit busy street, being horny concept

You might be wondering what defines being horny and what its “symptoms” really are.

Signs that you are horny may include:

  • Having frequent sexual fantasies
  • Often feeling turned on and engaging in sexual activity (alone or with others)
  • Feeling restless at night as a result of frequent sexual thoughts
  • Experiencing tingling genitals
  • Feeling high sexual confidence
  • Noticing physical changes that may include hard nipples, an engorged clitoris (not to be confused with clitoromegaly), or an erection
  • Having an increased heart rate
  • Having increased vaginal lubrication

Can You Be TOO Horny?

In most cases, there is no such thing as being “too” horny.

Although many factors like the ones we detailed above can be responsible for a high sex drive, potentially harmful and compulsive behaviors are statistically rare.

Hypersexuality, which occurs in up to 6% of the population, is generally the result of mental health or emotional disorders, trauma, and brain injuries.

Sex addiction is a related issue, in that it’s a phrase often used to describe hypersexuality, but it is not a diagnosis recognized by major psychological associations.

If your constant horniness is affecting your relationships and/or causing distress, it may be worth speaking to a professional therapist, counselor, or psychologist.

What To Do When You’re Horny

close-cropped inky illustration of two women leaning their foreheads against one another while standing on a busy city street at sunset, being horny concept

If you’re feeling horny, there are a few things you can do to relieve the sexual tension you’re experiencing.

Some of them involve sexual activity, while others can help you redirect that energy into something that feels just as good.

  • Try masturbation:

Self-pleasure can be a fantastic solution for anyone who is horny and in need of a sexual release.

There are lots of hands-free masturbation methods to enjoy and plenty of ways to jerk off.

If you enjoy using sex toys, there are many options available, including clit suckers, G-spot vibrators, rabbit vibes, bullets, and even wearable toys like panty vibrators for hands-free play.

Below are some of our team’s most highly-rated vibrators of all types.

Men have a variety of toys at their disposal too, including Fleshlights (with some modeled after porn stars), pocket pussies and strokers, and even prostate massagers.

Our team’s top picks from the Fleshlight Girls (pornstars) series are below.

And yes — men can use vibrators just as easily as anyone else!

When it comes to masturbation, lube is your friend — it can enhance the experience whether you’re using toys or not.

  • Have sex:

If you have a willing partner, having sex can help satiate urges when you’re feeling horny.

Additionally, it can be fun to initiate sex at different times and in different places than you usually do.

Try sexting or virtual sex (87.8% of American adults have sexted, according to our research), play with vibrators together (even in public if that excites you), or experiment with different types of personal lubricants to explore new sensations or flavors together.

  • Get some exercise: 

Getting your blood pumping is a fantastic way to ease sexual tension because working out releases the same hormones and chemicals that sex does.

There are many different means to achieving those endorphins beyond sex and masturbation, and getting to the gym, playing your favorite sport, or even running can help you get there.

  • Practice self-acceptance: 

As confusing as random spikes in libido can be, denial is not how to deal with them.

Acknowledge that what you feel is horniness and that it’s okay.

Punishing yourself for feeling a certain way isn’t great for your mental health and it certainly won’t make you feel better.

Find a way to move through those feelings because you’re not “abnormal” for experiencing them — and there isn’t anything “wrong” with feeling horny.

How To Stop Being Horny

If you’re trying to lower your libido or take your mind off of sex for a while, there are a couple of purposeful ways that can help to get you there.

  • Get creative and do what you love:

Engaging in hobbies you enjoy can keep you busy and improve your mood — without having sex.

Healthy distractions to redirect your mind might include writing, doing art, cooking, watching a TV show you love, or listening to your favorite music.

Do whatever makes you happy.

  • Practice meditation:

Meditation doesn’t come easily for everyone, but there are many different ways to accomplish it.

For some, simply sitting down and doing some breathwork and visualization can help.

For people who get antsy with too much stillness, filling out a coloring book or relaxing yoga may be more effective.

Closing Thoughts

It’s completely normal for a person’s libido to fluctuate and a high sex drive isn’t indicative of having a sexual disorder.

There is no “normal” when it comes to sex drive — everyone’s libido is as individual as the person it belongs to — so don’t be too hard on yourself if you’re experiencing a shift in your usual desire levels or habits.

While you may want to seek professional help if your horniness is interfering with your life and relationships, you may just have a high sex drive — and there’s nothing wrong with that.

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